Call of the Day, aka Welcome to My World

True story. We can not make this stuff up.

Me: Oregon Poison Center.
Caller: I know you're not the right person to call, but I hope you can help me -- I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Okay . . .
Caller: What do you do if someone's been electrocuted?!
Me: Has someone been electrocuted?
Caller: Yes!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Then you need to call 911.
Caller: But . . . he's still breathing.
Me: Then I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. Try putting a bag over his head.

No. Of course not. We never say such things. Out loud.

Me: Then you need to call 911.
Caller: Oh . . . is that what I should do?
Me: Yes. Call 911 now.
Caller: Oh . . . okay.